WTF? Monday

Welcome to another addition of “WTF? Monday”. Today’s entries come mostly from the weekend and the odd things that ensued. Thus we begin:

We’ll start off with the more topical item from the weekend. Last night we had a few people over for the not so Superbowl. (What a boring ass football game) About the beginning of the third quarter we start talking about this store we saw called “Torrid Plus Sized”. As the name implies it’s hoochie clothes for fat chicks WTF?. Pardon my insensitivity to the plight of the ample woman, but there are some things that you SHOULD NOT WEAR if you aren’t of a certain shape. I’m not questioning someone’s right to wear what they want, I’m speaking on behalf of good taste. But I digress. After seeing some of the “models” on their website that Whit so graciously pulled up for all to enjoy, we all (the guys) agreed that we should view some lovely, nubile, less than well clothed ladies to offset the nightmarish views of water-buffalo in drag. This just became a slippery slope to porn hell. We ended up all stacked on the couch around the laptop, trying to find the worst, most disgusting representations of what our fellow human beings can achieve when given a webcam, riding crop, gallon of lube, and a goat. It’s the most college like night I’ve had since college. After we tired ourselves of things I won’t mention here (midgets, leather, rubber, and an interesting contraption called the “Flesh light”) we watched “The Princess Bride”. Not only is that movie a classic among classics, but it’s a great pallet cleanser after a couple of hours of fetish porn.

Next comes something that’s funny, but sad. We have a group of people at my job who play hacky sack. We get together in a room dubbed the “relax room” by the execs (which was supposed to have an air hockey table, or foosball table, or ping pong or something but still is without furniture at all). So about 6 of us (including 2 managers and 2 directors) hack for a couple of hours. That’s right, we stayed late on a Friday because the hacking was that good. The Saturday morning we wake up and meet up with some people for a nice, all day game of paint ball. Now, I used to play paintball quite a bit in High School, but haven’t played in years. It was fun, but the rental guns won’t hit water if you shoot at the ocean. That aside, it was cold and muddy, so the running about, crouched like a goon behavior usually ended up in one of us sliding to his doom. So after the paint assassinations were done we went to the gym for some swimming, running and hot tub lounging. That was nice. So Sunday morning I wake up and realize that I no longer have legs. WTF? I’m 30 years old, and after that little two days of using my legs for more than walking and propping myself up on the couch, I can’t move. I’ve only been training for a week and a half for my races this year, but man, I didn’t think I was this far out of shape. Oh well, I’ll take it as a blessing that I know this far in advance and do something about it.

The last part of WTF Monday is devoted to the Rolling Stones. Mick Jagger is in really great shape for a man even half his age, no question about that. BUT. No man should EVER wear low rise jeans. We all know that a man’s ass begins to disappear off his backside at around 45 years of age. By Mick’s age he’s just got a crater where his ass used to be. Low rise jeans just amplify this effect. Not to mention that seeing a 60+ year old man’s mid-drift is about as appetizing as catching your parents in the throws of a nooner on the kitchen table. WTF? I’ll quote Adam on this one as I think he put it best:

“Yeah, it’s kinda exciting to think a GIRL has to shave to wear a pair of low rise jeans…”