Permission to come aboard...

Greetings and salutations; the new arrival is on deck and checking in. After the generous introduction I feel compelled to say hello and comment on some of the day's happenings. Though no show tunes for this performance.

Since the hour is late, I won't write excessively (though most of you know i'm full of hot air). For those that don't know me (which i can't imagine anyone in that catagory would really be reading this), i'll give my one-time, courtesy head-up about my outlook and most of the things i'll contribute from time to time. If you are easily offended, sensitive or thin skinned, you probably won't enjoy my ramblings. We'll just say i'm not very PC or necessarily tactful. You don't like it, read something else. Or (as a T-shirt i saw recently so elegantly said it) put on your Big Girl Panties and Deal With It.

Moving on, I couldn't help but notice some of today's news headlines & stories. Nothing out of the "ordinary" I guess. One pattern I noticed (which will be a theme with me...that's sorta what i do for a job) in some of the stories of recent days is how we (at least our elected officials) approach & solve a problem. We all know they'll assemble a commitee, hold lots of useless meetings & hearings, blah blah. But have you ever notice a common word describing their attack on the issue? They are going to have a PROBE. Interesting choice of words. A probe. Ran across an article a while ago on Google news (sorry...can't find the link) that a politician says that the CIA leaks have hurt our intelligence capabilities and is ordering A PROBE. Look around. Lots of probing going on.
I'll leave the use of the word "probe" and their unresolved sexual issues card off the table right now & propose a reason why this might be a good word to describe most inquiries, be it for Uncle Sam, a business, whatever. Remember way back in high school when you went to Biology Lab on dissection day? The teacher probably gave detailed instructions on how to make this look like a delicate surgery procedure, then you (myself included) proceeded to make the carcass look like a bad horror movie. What were we doing? Probing. Cutting and looking and poking and probing around to see what made the frog tick. By the time we were done, it looked nothing like a frog & sometimes was unrecognizable. See a pattern when something gets probed? Yup, you guessed it. It gets handed back to the overseeing entity so mangled that no good info comes out of it, none of the questions were answered and all you end up with is a big mess. What happens then? Thrown away or swept under a rug. You got your grade for the effort (or tacit approval from the constituancy) and moved on to the next class.
There's other stuff in the news today: I see Mr. Peanut thinks we should "give Hamas a chance". A chance for what? I don't see how a group of people whose theme is the complete destruction of Isreal are going to bring peace or anything good to the region. Then again, his track record for handling conflicts in the Middle East doesn't exactly inspire confidence.
I see some fool is suing Apple for not making it clear that you can lose your hearing from blasting your iPod directly into your ears. Look genius, Darwin is trying to tell you something. I imagine next in their crosshairs for litigation will be Craftsman, for not putting a sign on a hammer that informs them in little words that it will hurt their widdle thumb (probably already weakened from the apparent sucking) when smashing it with the above named tool.
The list could go on, though i've wasted enough of your time and need to rack out. Thanks again to Alone at Sea for granting me permission to speak. I'll try to keep Sarge's Corner lively and full of topicality. Until next time, AMF!