Someone needed to say it...

The source for today’s rant is none other than our friend and resident Atlanta tightwad, Mr. Clark Howard. Please don’t think that calling him a “tightwad” is meant in a derogatory way, quite the opposite. Clark Howard has figured out every way in which the little guy, the not so little guy, and even the huge guy can save money, not lose so much to the government, and generally just live a richer life day to day. What’s more is unlike EF Hutton, Merrill Lynch and others; Clark Howard chooses to share his vast knowledge free of charge.

My reason for posting about dear Clark is how he opened his show today. He addressed something that we’ve all heard about, but few know the truth of. That being the state of America’s economy.

This is how he laid it out: We hear how well our economy is going from the President, parts of the Media (Fox News and other non-liberal outlets) and for some of us, our investment professionals. Now, there are many who look at this statement and just stand there, dumbfounded and pissed, pointing out that they’re always in a crunch for money, and so they think the economy is, therefore, in the toilet. Now, the disconnect is this: The strength of a nation’s economy is based on its ability to produce. As of now, America’s production is at all time highs, our interest rates are good, the stock market is up, and general commerce is at a healthy flow. This means that America’s economy on the national scale is great. Bravo. What he also said (and I like the way he put it) is that we are in a point in history where the very rich (the top 1% of the rich) control about 60% of all the wealth in America. He states “There is no good or evil, right or wrong to this, its part of a pattern”. Did you get that last part? It’s happened before in this country and others and will continue until such time as the capitalist system ceases to function. When you experience a period in history of massive innovation and technological change, the margin of wealth leans towards those who risk in order to gain. They are the few, and so the gains go to the few. This doesn’t mean that rich people are a part of a vast conspiracy to keep the little shop owner down, or to destroy the poor in favor of gaining more money. It’s a cycle, much like global warming (don’t get me started on that one).

For the income redistributionalists, the Marxists, the Communists, and anyone else who hates the capitalist system or can’t stand the fact that few people in America have what these 1% have, I entreat you, please read a book on finance. Learn something about what you’re talking about before you condemn an entire system of economics based on your inability to earn, spend, or otherwise exist under it. Those who would blame the President or laud the President for the strength or weakness of our nation’s economy are accomplishing 2 things. One: They are showing their base ignorance about this country’s economic system and Two: they are creating a falsity that bears over onto their fellow morons and perpetuates the myth into future generations of victimized, governmentally dependant sycophants. Keep in mind that since our government is so thorough in its money collecting habits, the top 1% also pay the vast majority of this nation’s taxes.

So let me just stand up and give a great big “Good Job” to Clark Howard, for having the guts to tell the truth when so many others would rather use a lie to further their agendas.

Just in case it sounds like I’m writing this in defense of the rich, well, I am. Good on’em for working hard and getting rich. I’m not there yet…

But I’m climbing as fast as I can.

WTF? Monday

Today’s post is all about the things I see in everyday life that I find completely odd. Strange. I even know the reasons that many of these things are the way they are, but I still find them utterly baffling.

1) Gym Homies.- So I’m riding the bike at the gym (which at LA Fitness is on the second level overlooking the machines) and I see this guy that looks like he fell out of a bad rap video circa 1998. He was dressed in the requisite basketball jersey, baggy shorts, shin socks, Nikes, and baseball cap with no bend in the bill canted off ay a jaunty angle for flair. All red and white, all matching, giving him the effect of a poorly rendered peppermint. He also had the K-Fed beard and mustache combo, and a silver chain thick enough to tow my Honda around his neck. This guy couldn’t have been any more pale if he had smeared himself in Elmer’s glue. Dude, WTF?

2) The price of beer. This is one of those things that I understand…to a point. I am, without a doubt, a beer snob. If there’s a commercial for it with a dog, a bikini team, or a celebrity, chances are I’d rather wash dishes with it than drink it. I understand that microbrews are not made by staining water yellow by running it through a hose packed with wheat and hops like the big beers and therefore is much more expensive to make. Fine. I wouldn’t have said anything about this except about three years ago I was introduced to a little beer called Yeungling. Funny name, great beer. Yeungling is brewed at the oldest brewery in America, comes in several varieties, and can even make a root canal seem fun. It’s so tasty I can’t even explain it. And here’s the kicker: It’s cheaper than almost any beer on the market. A case of this stuff is around 8 dollars and change. Now, microbrewers of America, tell me why your beer costs so much again? WTF?

3) Activists. Has anyone ever noticed that all the so-called “Activists” in this country are usually the least active people you’ll ever meet? The conversation goes something like this: “Hey man, my name’s _____” “Oh hi, my name is ____” “So what do you do, ____” “Who me? oh I’m in sales at a computer company, what do you do” “Oh, I’m an activist”. End of description. The correct definition is “I sit around on my ass thinking shit up to boycott, picket, and generally yammer about until things are the way I think they should be, even though I don’t really contribute anything to society as a whole. And I’m not taking sides here either. I could care less if you and I agree on every single point politically, religiously, fundamentally, morally, culinarily, whatever. If you spend your life taking the resources I and billions like me work to produce each year and your only contribution is to stand around with other idiots and yell about something you don’t like, thinking that somehow your presence on the street with a candle means a damn thing to anyone, then please by all means let me invite you to hug a Marta bus…while it’s moving.

4) Spas. I’m going to get shit for this one. I understand that it’s nice to be pampered all day, have some stranger rub you in ways your husband or wife could not understand, and are probably too lazy to do, and generally get slathered with anything from the mud you work so hard to keep out of your carpets to chocolate to bat shit. What I don’t get is the things these people who run the spas come up with to get people in there, or convince them that they’re doing something healthy for them. In Hershey, PA you can go to a spa that will let you take a bath in Chocolate. WTF? I know we all have that one substance we dream about bathing or swimming in, (beer, wine, Jack Daniels, beer) but really, what exactly does smothering your body in that much sugar do besides give you ass zits the size of hacky sacks? I want to see the “Functional Spa for People Who Hate Bullshit”. This will be the spa that just uses the right thing to get whatever job you want done done. Want a facial? I’ve got a sand-blaster. Need to feel refreshed and awakened? How about a nice tub full of ice? Need a back massage? I’ve got a pneumatic hammer over here that should do the trick.

There, I feel better. I’ve compiled a completely vapid account of things I think are strange with no real value to anyone.

Feel it...

Lyric of the Day:

“You’re what happens when two substances collide,
And by all accounts you really should have died.”


-Andrew Bird
A Nervous Tic Motion Of The Head To The Left

Musing from the mire...

Ok folks, here it is. It’s late in the day and I’m not so much board as fried from the stuff I’ve been doing, which includes but is not limited to:

Harping on an AV company to send me the proposal for my New York meeting next week.

Draw up a map of exhibition space for a meeting in Paris.

Editing video

Database countless amounts of crap.

It all sounds boring but it’s actually fun. I’ve just been brain addled thinking about sailing around Belize and have finally found an outlet for my malady.

What’s your favorite Beer? What beer have you tried that you’d bet no other person you know has tried? Beer is a nice subject, after all, tomorrow is Friday. Not that I actually expect anyone to answer this as I’m pretty sure no one besides my wife reads it. But that’s ok. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe there are countless board souls out there just dying to read my every thought on my cyberspace notepad.

And maybe I’ll have a threesome with my wife and Kate Beckinsale one day.

In other words, I’m a realist.

So, the beer I’ve tried that I’m betting no one else has tried is called “Victoria Bitters”. Whit and I drank this beer all over Australia, and man is it good. But, since the good old U.S. doesn’t make it easy to get beer into the country, you’ll probably never get to taste this amber gem stateside.

But what about Foster’s you ask? The Foster’s you and I drink here in the states is made and canned in Canada. Yeah, I know, it lost a lot of luster for me too. Oh well.

As for the future I’m hoping someone will bring in some more international beers, and I can’t wait for Belize, as they have a “national beer”. That’s right, it’s the only one made there, and that’s just about the only place they sell it.


Cheers,

An ARGH! is born...

Scallywag

noun
scamp, monkey, rascal, rapscallion, scalawag, scallywag

“one who is playfully mischievous”


Team Scallywag is now active…




More to follow…

Oatmeal, Water and the morning news...

Great way to start your day...

From the AJC online:

TUNICA, Miss. — A Georgia man is charged with assault for driving his car through the glass doors of Tunica's Gold Strike Casino and doing doughnuts in the lobby

I'm so proud to be from Georgia.

Things to do in Alpharetta when you're dead...

First read this: Open letter from David Cross to Larry the Cable guy

Now read the email comment I sent in.

Will he answer? Who knows. Why did I write? I probably need a life.

Hi Dave, greetings from Roswell (the origin of your pain). I have to say first that you have amused me from time to time, mostly on Arrested Development. Having spawned from the heart of Larry’s geographical demographic, let me just say that I will first take it on faith that you’re intelligent enough to know that the stereotypes about southerners are to be taken with a grain of salt, just as the stereotypes about self proclaimed intellectual dilatants brandishing thick rimmed glasses and ironic t-shirts should. That being said I really have more of a question than a comment. Having read your open letter, the Rolling Stone article, Larry’s rebuttal, and the comments herein, I’m wondering if you are playing the part, or if you and Larry are actually sparring over what amounts to nothing. Now, please don’t think that I’m labeling your heartfelt political views as irrelevant or worthless, I wouldn’t lower myself to such a judgment. To do so will only accomplish the very same outcome as you two (you and Larry) have wrought. If this tete a tete is indeed real, and you both are truly sparring, then to do so publicly is (besides your right as an American) merely pandering. I understand that you each stand atop opposing hills, each assured of his own supremacy, each firing arrows and barbs at the other seeking to undo him if even a little in the eyes of his piers. But really, is this anything more than an idle stunt, or are you really convinced that your opinions are vastly superior to Larry’s? (Keep in mind since I’m guessing Larry doesn’t frequent your website, I’ll be writing him the same missive later). I’m not taking a side in this, as neither of you has really shown the ability to present an even remotely compelling argument, but then again that’s the entire reason I ask the question. “Are you serious about this?” If you’re simply rebuffing Larry (or Dan, take your pick) in this public forum to create a small stage on which to perform then bravo, your letter was slightly entertaining. But if this is really you, David Cross (or whatever name you take when not performing) and you truly believe the things you wrote (including your place in a higher intellectual plane from those who find Mr. Cable Guy’s style of comedy funny), then how is it that you can logically separate yourself from those you verbally thrash? I won’t use the “H” word (that’s hypocrite for those who’s political ideology falls into a category with the word “Wing” in it) but seriously, did you even blush when you lit into several groups with all the practiced virulence of an angry 15 year old girl who’s been denied her own phone line? Sure, there are large groups of people in this country who don’t believe as you do, or as Larry does, or as I do. And many of these people are, regrettably, those with access to the more pervasive forms of ideological purveyance (yeah, I know, that sounds like I’m just trying to use big words…and I was) heh, but I digress. It usually falls to the loudest, most ignorant and obnoxious idiot each side can find to act as the filter by which each ideology is spewed upon the public at large. But honestly, are you stitching yourself into the socio-political fabric of your country or are you giddily trading verbal bitch-slaps with a fellow comedian for fun and an increased readership? Either way, I don’t much care, but I couldn’t help taking up a precious 5 minutes of your time. I must have low blood-sugar. As I said, from time to time you’ve amused me, and I really do hope Arrested Development gets picked up by Showtime. Please feel free to respond if you feel so inclined, I enjoy debate, and verbal bitch-slaps. If Larry answers (even if you don’t) I’ll forward the answer to you for your enjoyment.

With surprisingly little flatulence for a southerner,


David Bryant

P.S. The title of the email was intended to be a clever allusion to puppetry, but I changed my mind and was just too lazy to change it.

Shock and not so much awe...

So I’ve always considered myself an optimist. That being said, I’m not blind, nor am I a *complete* idiot. I’ve lived in the South (apparently we’re the “durty souf” at this point) all my life. I am well acquainted with the presence of racism in society. I live in an area where race is a daily conversation and thank God most of it is actually constructive (within my sphere of influence that is).

That being said, I got a rather large shock to my system over the last few weeks. See, I play Halo 2 on XBOX live quite a bit as my wife will also attest to (in a court of law if you need her too). In so doing this I have the opportunity to converse with what I humbly consider the bottom third of the mental and educational food chain in America, just above the radical left wing, feminists, and mothballs. (Yeah, I know I’m technically insulting myself and I'm lumping myself in with the affor mentioned mouth-breathers, but I know I’m smarter than they are…I’m a hypocrite, get over it)

So, where was I? Oh, so my friend and I are joined by another group of friends (people whom we knew in High School and have been reacquainted with through the magic of the internet). We’re playing with four individuals in a private game where the general public cannot attend. At first glance the four individuals (we’ll just call them 3k’s for short) sound to be normal, video game addicted yokels. And then the geography conversation starts. “We’re all from Ga.” I quip, “Near Atlanta”.

3K’s: “We’re from Southern Mississippi”

Uh oh….

3K # 1: “Yeah, my family vacations there and we go to Stone Mountain every year”

Eh…this isn’t good…

3K #2 “I like Atlanta, I just have one problem”

Here it comes, right on cue…

3K #2 “There are too many N@#%@s”

Insert group laughter from all 3K’s here.

So my friend and I just look at each other, not really knowing what to say. The rest of our party is uncharacteristically silent and I’d swear I could hear crickets over the headset.

After that we played one game, as no one really knew what to say in response. Needless to say we won’t be attending any further games with the 3K’s.
The sad thing is that this was not and is still not an isolated thing on Halo 2 live. I forget that Atlanta, for all it’s pathetic politics and gross misdeeds of government, is a progressive city where race and equality are concerned.

Apparently southern Mississippi is not.

I guess I shouldn’t really be shocked by this, but I was.

On a much brighter note, my meeting was cancelled, so no travel next week. WOOHOO!!!

Man gives birth to brain, skull could not be reached for comment...

Ok, that’s it, you kids have just made me have to turn this car around! We’re going straight home, not ice cream.

After reading so many other blogs that my eyes have crossed, I’ve finally realized that even if I have nothing earth shattering to say, I still have things on my chest (minus the smattering of manly chest hair) that I need to get out. Granted some or most of it will piss someone off, but hey, I’m not in this for friends, I’m in this for no good reason at all, and that actually makes me feel better.

So, proceed to my first verbal assault with all haste, it’s an eye opener.