Knock knock....who's here?

With all the talk about the illegal immigration bills running through congress I thought I would sidestep the normal rant (it’s been done by everyone and their brother) and propose a solution. Now, I understand that I can be a bit arcane in my thought processes sometimes, but on this one I’m serious. No Thomas Payne style humor here. The solution itself would take a great amount of balls on the part of our government with regards to certain other nations, but at this point the rest of the world already has us on its shit list, so why not go for broke and fix a huge problem while we’re at it.

Here’s the solution: Round up illegal aliens in a somewhat slow but methodical manner (not gestapo style). Interview each one and find their country of origin.

For the sake of argument here we’ll just use Mexico as an example. Mexico has been historically lazy and even a bit casual about guarding its borders. But then again, why keep the people in when letting them leave makes more room and jobs for an already overcrowded and largely impoverished society.

So, for every illegal Mexican alien we find in America we charge Mexico $5000 US dollars as a maintenance fee. This fee will go towards several ends. First we’ll use it to erect a border network of defensible fences and trenches along the U.S. – Mexico border. It will also be a deposit on lawful naturalization of that alien should he or she wish to become a legal citizen.

Should he or she become a citizen we introduce the following:

One: They will pay one year’s back taxes for any time over one day spent working in this country illegally.

Two: They will not be ineligible for welfare, Medicare, or any other government based, tax-payer funded service until those taxes are paid.

Three: Should they ever be convicted of one felony or two misdemeanors under U.S. law they will be stripped of their citizenship and summarily deported back to their country of origin. This deportation shall be paid for using the newly alienized person’s assets.

Four: If you are female and caught in this country illegally you will not be allowed to bear any children until you are legally naturalized. If you have a child (or are already pregnant with one) while you are illegally here you will be deported along with the child (born or not). The child will have to go through the same naturalization process as you in order to become a legal citizen. The one year tax back-payment will be pro-rated to the child’s age. No more automatic citizenship for illegal aliens born on American soil.

Does this sound cruel? Unduly harsh? That’s fine. I would like to know how many of my tax dollars and the tax dollars of every other American citizen have gone to paying for someone who’s not even a citizen of this country to live. I’m fairly sure that the good citizens of Mexico wouldn’t give me one red cent if I were to crash their country and need a doctor or food stamps.

And even if Mexico had a problem with the new way of doing things, it might just get them to pay attention to the illegal immigration issue.

Think about it. With all the illegals from all the countries we are currently harboring; even if none of the countries paid one red cent, we could just delete it from the national debt.

See, it’s a good solution.

Think about it.


Cheers,


Captain.