Well here's the post I'm writing to make myself feel better, because you need to get things out.
I'm disappointed in America. Chiefly because enough people fell for glitz and glamor instead of substance. But also because of how people at large are acting.
I'll just say that I am worried about this country being forced into socialized health-care, the government controlling the banks, and the slow erosion of our constitution by radical liberal politicians. But am I going to say that this is the end of the world?
No. Do I think we're in for at least two and possibly more years of really crappy times in America? Yes. Do I think we're in for more terrorist attacks on US soil? Probably.
I have to say I'm a bit ashamed of how ignorant the majority of people are in this country about issues that affect them. I mean, it's one thing to not be able to pick out North America on a map, or answer simple questions on the Jay Leno 'man on the street' quiz, or even to come in dead last in math scores among developed countries. But to actually put someone so under-qualified as Obama into office because the media makes him out to be some kind of anti-Bush messiah? Really? Did Democrats need revenge that bad that they put their OWN stooge in the white house?
Ho hum. It's not going to get better folks, and it wouldn't have even if McCain had won. It's just a matter of how fast we go down the toilet.
But I'll end on a hopeful note, because without hope and faith, we have nothing. I think that some good will come from this election and presidency, and I think a lot of that will be people understanding just how bad big government really is. And further that it doesn't matter which party is in the White house, government will only grow and take more from you unless we all stand up and do something.
So put on the gloves people, things are about to get ugly...
04 November 2008
26 October 2008
And boy are my arms tired...
Ok, I love planes, I love flying, and mostly I love the sense of humor it takes to be a pilot...
Thus I post this email I received from a rare breed... and old pilot... my dad.
Thus I post this email I received from a rare breed... and old pilot... my dad.
Pilot Philosophy
The difference between a duck and a co-pilot?
The duck can fly.
A check ride ought to be like a skirt.
Short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover everything.
Speed is life.
Altitude is life insurance.
It only takes two things to fly:
Airspeed, and money.
The three most dangerous things in aviation:
1. A Doctor or Dentist in a Cessna.
2. Two captains in a DC-9.
Aircraft Identification:
If it's ugly, it's British.
If it's weird, it's French.
If it's ugly and weird, it's Russian.
Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another very expensive flying club.
The similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies.
If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.
The difference between flight attendants and jet engines is that the engines usually quit whining when they get to the gate.
New FAA motto:
'We're not happy, till you're not happy.'
If something hasn't broken on your helicopter--it's about to.
I give that landing a 9 . . on the Richter scale.
Basic Flying Rules:
1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
2. Do not go near the edges of it.
3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly in the edges.
Unknown landing signal officer (LSO) to carrier pilot after his 6th unsuccessful landing attempt:
"You've got to land here son. This is where the food is."
The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement.
A night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities to experience all three at the same time.
25 October 2008
Clarity
I don't think I'll ever get too old or too jaded to not marvel at those sudden moments of clarity I'm given.
For me they end up like the end of a movie where there's music playing and the camera just pulls back and reveals an overhead view...
Not all of them are earth shattering, but I think if you can just take what they show you and keep it tightly locked in your head, it's sure to do something good for you down the road.
Now if I could just play blues piano I'd be on my way...
To a blues bar more than likely. I mean... it is Saturday night...
For me they end up like the end of a movie where there's music playing and the camera just pulls back and reveals an overhead view...
Not all of them are earth shattering, but I think if you can just take what they show you and keep it tightly locked in your head, it's sure to do something good for you down the road.
Now if I could just play blues piano I'd be on my way...
To a blues bar more than likely. I mean... it is Saturday night...
23 October 2008
Ah Venice
So.......
Tomorrow is my first day off in over two weeks and I plan to sleep and drink away a considerable amount of it. I'm feeling a bit fatigued. Not from work, or from training. Mostly from this world around me. I think it's the noise. There are so many people yammering at once about nothing at all... on TV, on the radio, even on the Internet (yeah, I know, pot and kettle, but you can't technically hear me typing so this doesn't count as yammering) I just need some blessed silence.
So I'm retreating more and more from the 'new' in all things media, and as such I'm finding many authors and subjects I seemed to have missed in my 23+ years of schooling. Today's find was Tennyson. Excellent stuff so far.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm taking a road less traveled in my desire to connect more with the past than the future with regards to music, art, and literature or if the men and women who were dubbed 'classicists' at the turn of the last century were simply feeling the same as me about the new age of cars, jazz, and machinery. It's not that I mind technology (he types on his Pentium Zillion+2 computer while listening to digital music on his ipod). Not so. It pays my salary, makes my food, heats my house, entertains me and wakes me up in the morning.
I think I have more of a problem with people's reactions to these things. More to the point, I have issues with being constantly bombarded with voices and 'communication' at every turn. I am of the opinion (especially during election season) as is Whitney and many other people I know that the 24 hour news cycle is destroying this country. The need to fill ever hour with some sort of information has caused all telecommunications hell to break loose. Now reporters feel the compulsion to report EVERYTHING to their audiences, no matter how awful, vapid, useless or trivial it may be. "The people have a right to know"... Indeed. The people, more often than not, would be better served with taking care of their own lives than worrying about others. Remember when you were young and you played that game "telephone" where ten people sit in a circle and one person whispers a statement into his neighbor's ear, then it's passed around the circle from person to person until it gets back to the person and you see how mangled the original statement has become? It's like that with satellites.
And let's face it, warnings against gossip (which is exactly what the majority of the "news" we get is, glorified, re-fried, dolled-up gossip) aren't exactly a new invention. The Bible even warns against it many times.
Wow, I'm like an angry old woman. I started this post talking about my day off and it became a soapbox rant about the evils of mass-communication.
Do I have a sense of irony or what?
Tomorrow is my first day off in over two weeks and I plan to sleep and drink away a considerable amount of it. I'm feeling a bit fatigued. Not from work, or from training. Mostly from this world around me. I think it's the noise. There are so many people yammering at once about nothing at all... on TV, on the radio, even on the Internet (yeah, I know, pot and kettle, but you can't technically hear me typing so this doesn't count as yammering) I just need some blessed silence.
So I'm retreating more and more from the 'new' in all things media, and as such I'm finding many authors and subjects I seemed to have missed in my 23+ years of schooling. Today's find was Tennyson. Excellent stuff so far.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm taking a road less traveled in my desire to connect more with the past than the future with regards to music, art, and literature or if the men and women who were dubbed 'classicists' at the turn of the last century were simply feeling the same as me about the new age of cars, jazz, and machinery. It's not that I mind technology (he types on his Pentium Zillion+2 computer while listening to digital music on his ipod). Not so. It pays my salary, makes my food, heats my house, entertains me and wakes me up in the morning.
I think I have more of a problem with people's reactions to these things. More to the point, I have issues with being constantly bombarded with voices and 'communication' at every turn. I am of the opinion (especially during election season) as is Whitney and many other people I know that the 24 hour news cycle is destroying this country. The need to fill ever hour with some sort of information has caused all telecommunications hell to break loose. Now reporters feel the compulsion to report EVERYTHING to their audiences, no matter how awful, vapid, useless or trivial it may be. "The people have a right to know"... Indeed. The people, more often than not, would be better served with taking care of their own lives than worrying about others. Remember when you were young and you played that game "telephone" where ten people sit in a circle and one person whispers a statement into his neighbor's ear, then it's passed around the circle from person to person until it gets back to the person and you see how mangled the original statement has become? It's like that with satellites.
And let's face it, warnings against gossip (which is exactly what the majority of the "news" we get is, glorified, re-fried, dolled-up gossip) aren't exactly a new invention. The Bible even warns against it many times.
Wow, I'm like an angry old woman. I started this post talking about my day off and it became a soapbox rant about the evils of mass-communication.
Do I have a sense of irony or what?
16 October 2008
Meat
So today was interesting. Actually it was a bit normal for this meeting; me running around like my head's on fire, setup here, breakdown there. But then 4:35 came and it got REALLY interesting.
So in case you don't sit glued to C-Span or CNN you probably don't know that both candidates were here at the Smelldorf tonight for a charity fund raiser of some sort. We were filming in the main ballroom where this event was being held and we were told a few days before that we'd need to clear out quickly. So the time comes and by then I'd estimate that about 50 or 60 Secret Service guys were milling around looking official and menacing. Mostly menacing. We then proceeded to strike the entire room, down to the last cord and chair in about 23 minutes. I've never seen so many people moving so quickly to clear a room in my life.
After that it was apparent that Elvis was in the building because you couldn't access half the floors and the rest were just swarming with blue-blood New Yorkers in tux and tails, all going in a different direction. As it was nearing dinner time and I had no desire to hang out and play the turd in the wealthy punch bowl, I rounded up some co-workers and headed out to find a real honest to goodness New York eatery.
I ended up finding a little corner of heaven. On a suggestion we went here, where I ate this:
It's roughly the weight of a small baby and brought tears to my eyes... in a good way. Follow up with some sauteed spinach, garlic mashed potatoes and finish with a glass of Taylor Fladgate 20 year old tawny port and you have the makings of a nice food coma.
Traveling for work can suck.
But sometimes it's got it's perks.
If you'll excuse me I'm going to go and dream of doing the appropriate amount of sit ups.
15 October 2008
Bright lights big...
So here's me, back in my favorite unfavorite city. But take the bad with the good I say...
Good: Free food and drink for a week.
Bad: Filming schedule is hell
Good: 40th floor room at the Waldorf
Bad: Surrounded by people... lots and lots of people.
Good: HBO... ergo... True Blood episodes.
Bad: Probably won't be able to find a TV in this entire city that will carry the UGA game.
Oop, just heard my favorite line: "What the fuck is it with white people and jello?"
So Whit turned me on to the new site (see the link to your right) for tracking books you read. I'm a bit of a reader, so instead of bitching about this God forsaken election, and how much I despise all that it seems to bring out of the people in this country, I'll bring in some literary topicality.
What I'm currently reading:
Brisingr - The third book of the "Inheritance Cycle" (Previously named the "Inheritance Trilogy" but the author couldn't finish the story in three books so there will be four) It's your standard fantasy, aka it takes almost every race, creature, and plot item from some part of Tolkien's famous trilogy, but it's well written and good brain fodder. If you've seen the movie (of the first book; Eragon) then you've seen how poorly Hollywood can write a movie out of a decent novel.
1776 - David McCullough's account of the revolutionary war, the ins and outs of how this country was born, and the people who played pivotal rolls in the formation of America. I like it so far, there are some interesting anecdotes about some historical figures you know, and information on several most of us probably don't know. I've had this book for almost two years and just recently picked it up... not sure if it was because I had nothing else to read or if I was just trying to make myself feel better about this country, and hope that the constitution can stand up to whatever is to come. This one is a great read even if you only like history, as it tells interesting stories about places and people along with the information about 'le revolucion'...
As I Lay Dying - This is one I'm struggling with. It's Faulkner, so it's convoluted and choppy, and written in a southern patwa that, being from the deep south, I have no idea where he got it. I came close to reading this one in High School but my better judgement overcame me. Perhaps I should start listening to it again...
Blowing My Cover: My Life as a CIA Spy - This one sounded really fun when I read the back cover. Got about 100 pages in and I can't actually put my finger on what's bothering me, but I think it's that she (the author and subject of the book) is too... chirpy. Don't get me wrong, she's highly intelligent and has done some really cool stuff, it's just that I can't get into the 'I'm reading a spy novel' mode when she's so... perky. I might try it again when I've cleaned a few shelves of other stuff, but I have a long list of 'want to reads' so it may never happen...
And that's it right now. I plan to read "Wicked" and "The Time Traveler's Wife", both of which I already own, and "The Children of Hurin" the final book (half) written by J.R.R. himself, but that's what the next month or so will hold. I am looking forward to Dean Koontz finally publishing the third and final "Frankenstein" novel. It's been on hold for two years because his publisher was afraid the people of New Orleans couldn't take a book that had destruction of the town in it so soon after Katrina. Boo hoo. Just publish the book already.
I'm tired... happy trails people...
Good: Free food and drink for a week.
Bad: Filming schedule is hell
Good: 40th floor room at the Waldorf
Bad: Surrounded by people... lots and lots of people.
Good: HBO... ergo... True Blood episodes.
Bad: Probably won't be able to find a TV in this entire city that will carry the UGA game.
Oop, just heard my favorite line: "What the fuck is it with white people and jello?"
So Whit turned me on to the new site (see the link to your right) for tracking books you read. I'm a bit of a reader, so instead of bitching about this God forsaken election, and how much I despise all that it seems to bring out of the people in this country, I'll bring in some literary topicality.
What I'm currently reading:
Brisingr - The third book of the "Inheritance Cycle" (Previously named the "Inheritance Trilogy" but the author couldn't finish the story in three books so there will be four) It's your standard fantasy, aka it takes almost every race, creature, and plot item from some part of Tolkien's famous trilogy, but it's well written and good brain fodder. If you've seen the movie (of the first book; Eragon) then you've seen how poorly Hollywood can write a movie out of a decent novel.
1776 - David McCullough's account of the revolutionary war, the ins and outs of how this country was born, and the people who played pivotal rolls in the formation of America. I like it so far, there are some interesting anecdotes about some historical figures you know, and information on several most of us probably don't know. I've had this book for almost two years and just recently picked it up... not sure if it was because I had nothing else to read or if I was just trying to make myself feel better about this country, and hope that the constitution can stand up to whatever is to come. This one is a great read even if you only like history, as it tells interesting stories about places and people along with the information about 'le revolucion'...
As I Lay Dying - This is one I'm struggling with. It's Faulkner, so it's convoluted and choppy, and written in a southern patwa that, being from the deep south, I have no idea where he got it. I came close to reading this one in High School but my better judgement overcame me. Perhaps I should start listening to it again...
Blowing My Cover: My Life as a CIA Spy - This one sounded really fun when I read the back cover. Got about 100 pages in and I can't actually put my finger on what's bothering me, but I think it's that she (the author and subject of the book) is too... chirpy. Don't get me wrong, she's highly intelligent and has done some really cool stuff, it's just that I can't get into the 'I'm reading a spy novel' mode when she's so... perky. I might try it again when I've cleaned a few shelves of other stuff, but I have a long list of 'want to reads' so it may never happen...
And that's it right now. I plan to read "Wicked" and "The Time Traveler's Wife", both of which I already own, and "The Children of Hurin" the final book (half) written by J.R.R. himself, but that's what the next month or so will hold. I am looking forward to Dean Koontz finally publishing the third and final "Frankenstein" novel. It's been on hold for two years because his publisher was afraid the people of New Orleans couldn't take a book that had destruction of the town in it so soon after Katrina. Boo hoo. Just publish the book already.
I'm tired... happy trails people...
12 October 2008
Running Joke...
So I'm at the two year mark for my half-Ironman and I'm a bit off balance in my training. Swimming is actually progressing well enough, thought I feel compelled to vent about this weekend's pool time adventure.
Saturday morning, up at 8:30 and at the pool by 10 or so. Went to the John's Creek LA Fitness since it was near Kohl's and I needed shoes. I did go there for my first two years of race training and for some reason I don't remember the pool being so small, but I digress.
I'm in the second stage of my warm up, the underwater fin swim when I find that the wall of my lane has become bumpy and soft. Did you guess? It wasn't a wall at all! No! It was a very rude Korean woman who decided to avail herself of my lane without asking. I bumped right into her legs and then stood up, very much at a loss for words and said "Oh, hi". It was meant to contain all of the shock and incredulity I was feeling at her swimming pool faux pas, instead she just stared at it me with a blank look as if it were a cordial greeting.
Wait... it gets better. So I take off my fins and begin swimming in earnest when she produces a pool noodle and begins frog paddling down the MIDDLE OF THE LANE!!!!
I'm sorry, I know I sound like an octogenarian grousing about the store being out of prunes but seriously, there is such a thing as lane etiquette when using a lap pool. So, being the gentle, kindly soul I am I just swam like normal. That's right, when I crossed her path I just plowed right through her. I didn't stop to say "Oh, excuse me madame" I simply swam on my side of my usurped lane as any polite swimmer would and when our limbs crossed she got the raw end of the deal.
Guess how many times it took for her to get the picture. You're wrong, it actually took three.
Now, I could actually mention that to our right there was a man doing laps and his daughter was goofing off doing handstands and flopping into my lane repeatedly, or that on our left two people, a man and woman, were standing in one end of the lane, flirting and talking real-estate theory instead of using the LAP POOL to swim LAPS. But I won't, I'll just say that I'm going to stick to my home pool up on Windward and leave it at that.
Since I'm effectively dry-docked for two weeks I'll have to actually address my running and riding problems, which are simply that I'm not training hard enough at either. Today's little jaunt on the silver comet showed that.
Oh well, who knows, maybe in two years I'll look back on this and say "That was the week I changed my regiment and became a CHAMPION!!!!
Geez, that even hurt to type. Being a realist at heart, I'm really hoping I can just cross the finish line after 70.3 miles. I guess that makes me mediocre.
That's ok, the only really sucky thing about mediocre is that it's crowded.
Saturday morning, up at 8:30 and at the pool by 10 or so. Went to the John's Creek LA Fitness since it was near Kohl's and I needed shoes. I did go there for my first two years of race training and for some reason I don't remember the pool being so small, but I digress.
I'm in the second stage of my warm up, the underwater fin swim when I find that the wall of my lane has become bumpy and soft. Did you guess? It wasn't a wall at all! No! It was a very rude Korean woman who decided to avail herself of my lane without asking. I bumped right into her legs and then stood up, very much at a loss for words and said "Oh, hi". It was meant to contain all of the shock and incredulity I was feeling at her swimming pool faux pas, instead she just stared at it me with a blank look as if it were a cordial greeting.
Wait... it gets better. So I take off my fins and begin swimming in earnest when she produces a pool noodle and begins frog paddling down the MIDDLE OF THE LANE!!!!
I'm sorry, I know I sound like an octogenarian grousing about the store being out of prunes but seriously, there is such a thing as lane etiquette when using a lap pool. So, being the gentle, kindly soul I am I just swam like normal. That's right, when I crossed her path I just plowed right through her. I didn't stop to say "Oh, excuse me madame" I simply swam on my side of my usurped lane as any polite swimmer would and when our limbs crossed she got the raw end of the deal.
Guess how many times it took for her to get the picture. You're wrong, it actually took three.
Now, I could actually mention that to our right there was a man doing laps and his daughter was goofing off doing handstands and flopping into my lane repeatedly, or that on our left two people, a man and woman, were standing in one end of the lane, flirting and talking real-estate theory instead of using the LAP POOL to swim LAPS. But I won't, I'll just say that I'm going to stick to my home pool up on Windward and leave it at that.
Since I'm effectively dry-docked for two weeks I'll have to actually address my running and riding problems, which are simply that I'm not training hard enough at either. Today's little jaunt on the silver comet showed that.
Oh well, who knows, maybe in two years I'll look back on this and say "That was the week I changed my regiment and became a CHAMPION!!!!
Geez, that even hurt to type. Being a realist at heart, I'm really hoping I can just cross the finish line after 70.3 miles. I guess that makes me mediocre.
That's ok, the only really sucky thing about mediocre is that it's crowded.
09 October 2008
To shava da face...
Love Sweeney Todd. Great film, great soundtrack. Can't go wrong with dark humor, blood, and good music.
Does anyone else notice how hardcore left or right wingers (those to suckle at the teet of McCain or Obama) are resembling scientologists more and more as the election gets closer?
Seriously, I'm walking around listening to people spouting slogans, repeating quotes and in some cases verbatim talking points from debates or commercials... it's a bit unnerving.
It's all become a game of fear, which side can scare the people of this country more. Fear is what it's about, founded or not, the side that manages to convince more people that electing the opposing side will bring the world to a swift and sudden end will take the prize.
I'm proud to say that my personally imposed media blackout has been wildly successful and I've only suffered mild irritation and only a few urges to to tear people's arms off and beat them with them.
"It's man devouring man my dear, then who are we to deny it in here?"
I love it when art imitates life imitating art. Especially bad art.
Does anyone else notice how hardcore left or right wingers (those to suckle at the teet of McCain or Obama) are resembling scientologists more and more as the election gets closer?
Seriously, I'm walking around listening to people spouting slogans, repeating quotes and in some cases verbatim talking points from debates or commercials... it's a bit unnerving.
It's all become a game of fear, which side can scare the people of this country more. Fear is what it's about, founded or not, the side that manages to convince more people that electing the opposing side will bring the world to a swift and sudden end will take the prize.
I'm proud to say that my personally imposed media blackout has been wildly successful and I've only suffered mild irritation and only a few urges to to tear people's arms off and beat them with them.
"It's man devouring man my dear, then who are we to deny it in here?"
I love it when art imitates life imitating art. Especially bad art.
28 May 2008
So long pal...
Doolie von Braun - Akins, 1995 - 2008
Not that our esteemed readership (both of you) don't do the myspace thing too (this is blogged there), though I thought i'd let you all know I had Doolie put to sleep this afternoon. Quite simply, it was time. He was sad & in pain, so it was a relatively quick decision. I'll miss that damn annoying oaf, though he's in a much better place now. And as we should do with everyone, all I need to do is focus on the good memories.
It was almost exactly 9 years ago this past Memorial Day (wow, no irony there) that I met Doofus. I told a friend I'd help unload a U-Haul truck in exchange for dinner. That friend had a lady by the name of Lisa moving to Huntsvegas and was going to live with her for a while. I pulled up out front, and this gigantic ball of gray & white fur came bounding across the yard and practically tackled me. After being licked incessantly, I went over to the truck, now getting wet since it had started raining, said hi to Jackie and was introduced to quite the attractive blonde. Which starts an entirly different story...
In the meantime, here's my fav pic of Doolie, taken that first Thanksgiving when he still had a long coat. And that damn tongue is, of course, sticking out.
So long buddy; I'll miss you!
27 February 2008
Saint Sarge...
... the patron saint of single men who've decided that dating is about as much fun as giving yourself a vasectomy with a chainsaw. Okay, a little too wordy to fit on a medallion and i'm sure anyone reading this probably injured yourself, laughing at the thought of me being called St. Anything. But after chatting with Cap'n D yesterday i came to the conclusion that joining a monastery may not be such a bad alternative. And since everybody else there is probably non-competitive, i figure i'd could get ahead pretty quick.
Why this latest conclusion? Saturday night i had one of "those" dates, which I'm sharing with you all in the hopes that you can paint your own mental picture and hopefully have a good laugh. Since that would mean SOMETHING positive occured from it.
We "met" thru an online dating site. Seemed okay: pretty, a doctor, a few years older than me so she should have her shit together, etc. Talked on the phone a few times, seemed very nice, laid back, kind of quiet, smart, likes to travel, definately not a Type A.
Apparently while i was on the phone, Murphy snuck in and sedated her. Heavily.
So we decide to get together Saturday. In Nashville, which is the most convienient place to meet as she lives in the stix in TN, and there's plenty to do there. She seemed a little miffed that i didn't call early in the week to make plans (even though i emailed her, to which she did respond), and apparently she needs hours & hours to get ready. I offered to wait until the following weekend, she said it would be alright, so plans were made. At THIS point, i should have followed my gut and called it off. But if i had, you wouldn't be snickering right now, would you?
After the 2 hour drive from my house (at least it's very pretty scenery), i find the small, nice restaurant where she made reservations. Go inside, we meet in person and are seated. This my friends is the last positive thing that happened for the evening (our table was ready). Other than getting out of town still alive and staying awake thru the drive home.
I'll spare you the details, but about 3 minutes after we sat down i wanted to leave. Apparently she skipped the day in med school where they went over how the human ear functions, and that sound travels just fine in air. She was so much louder in person her voice sounded like someone else. And by the way, those of you that think i wave my hands a lot when i talk? Not even close. And not while trying to make a point; everything she said looked like Mickey Mouse casting spells in Fantasia. Big enough that the ladies sitting at the table next to us looked concerned about getting smacked. To which my date asked them why they were looking at her so disgustedly. Followed by them looking at me sympathetically.
Pretty much that's how things went. I later realized who she reminded me of, in mannerisms and such. If you haven't seen it in a while (or ever), put the 1st Deuce Bigalow movie in your Netflix cue. The girl he goes out with that had Tourettes? Yup; take away the uncontrolled outbursts and *blammo* my date. Oh, and notice i didn't say take away the vulgarity. During her (lengthy) discourse on why socialized medicine is a bad idea (to be fair, she is smart), the word "fuck" graced the restaurant about a dozen times, easily loud enough to be heard in the parking lot.
And since i'd just dropped way too much money and was clinging to hope that the evening wasn't a total wash, i agreed to go find a band to listen to. Which I lucked out in that she made a good choice. These guys are a funk band and are fantastic. Their shows are easily as entertaining as a Funkle gig, though harder to dance to. The story goes that are professional/famous musicians, though being wrapped up like mummies hides their identities and they just get to play. Check them out if you have a chance. I enjoyed them. Well, as much as i could. Beer would have taken out the sting though complicated the drive home, so i only had tap water to console me. At least the band drowned out her voice. All that left were the mannerisms. I mean, MD's in their mid-30's shouldn't be imitating how someone is standing (and pointing that out!!!) like they're 7 years old, right? At least not on a 1st date...
So i hope i've brought a smile to your face. I'm not quite ready to join the monastery, though i'm close. and sure it's all a game, and DAMN did i get pwned...
Why this latest conclusion? Saturday night i had one of "those" dates, which I'm sharing with you all in the hopes that you can paint your own mental picture and hopefully have a good laugh. Since that would mean SOMETHING positive occured from it.
We "met" thru an online dating site. Seemed okay: pretty, a doctor, a few years older than me so she should have her shit together, etc. Talked on the phone a few times, seemed very nice, laid back, kind of quiet, smart, likes to travel, definately not a Type A.
Apparently while i was on the phone, Murphy snuck in and sedated her. Heavily.
So we decide to get together Saturday. In Nashville, which is the most convienient place to meet as she lives in the stix in TN, and there's plenty to do there. She seemed a little miffed that i didn't call early in the week to make plans (even though i emailed her, to which she did respond), and apparently she needs hours & hours to get ready. I offered to wait until the following weekend, she said it would be alright, so plans were made. At THIS point, i should have followed my gut and called it off. But if i had, you wouldn't be snickering right now, would you?
After the 2 hour drive from my house (at least it's very pretty scenery), i find the small, nice restaurant where she made reservations. Go inside, we meet in person and are seated. This my friends is the last positive thing that happened for the evening (our table was ready). Other than getting out of town still alive and staying awake thru the drive home.
I'll spare you the details, but about 3 minutes after we sat down i wanted to leave. Apparently she skipped the day in med school where they went over how the human ear functions, and that sound travels just fine in air. She was so much louder in person her voice sounded like someone else. And by the way, those of you that think i wave my hands a lot when i talk? Not even close. And not while trying to make a point; everything she said looked like Mickey Mouse casting spells in Fantasia. Big enough that the ladies sitting at the table next to us looked concerned about getting smacked. To which my date asked them why they were looking at her so disgustedly. Followed by them looking at me sympathetically.
Pretty much that's how things went. I later realized who she reminded me of, in mannerisms and such. If you haven't seen it in a while (or ever), put the 1st Deuce Bigalow movie in your Netflix cue. The girl he goes out with that had Tourettes? Yup; take away the uncontrolled outbursts and *blammo* my date. Oh, and notice i didn't say take away the vulgarity. During her (lengthy) discourse on why socialized medicine is a bad idea (to be fair, she is smart), the word "fuck" graced the restaurant about a dozen times, easily loud enough to be heard in the parking lot.
And since i'd just dropped way too much money and was clinging to hope that the evening wasn't a total wash, i agreed to go find a band to listen to. Which I lucked out in that she made a good choice. These guys are a funk band and are fantastic. Their shows are easily as entertaining as a Funkle gig, though harder to dance to. The story goes that are professional/famous musicians, though being wrapped up like mummies hides their identities and they just get to play. Check them out if you have a chance. I enjoyed them. Well, as much as i could. Beer would have taken out the sting though complicated the drive home, so i only had tap water to console me. At least the band drowned out her voice. All that left were the mannerisms. I mean, MD's in their mid-30's shouldn't be imitating how someone is standing (and pointing that out!!!) like they're 7 years old, right? At least not on a 1st date...
So i hope i've brought a smile to your face. I'm not quite ready to join the monastery, though i'm close. and sure it's all a game, and DAMN did i get pwned...
28 January 2008
Ready to feel old?
No it's not one of those lists about how modern kids have never used a rotary telephone. Think back to one of the JFK-type moments for our generation. One of the events that most folks can say where-they-were, what-they-were doing when they heard the news. Not Reagan being shot, not the start of the 1st Gulf War... this time I'm referring to the Challenger accident. Today is the anniversary of that sad day.
Now the part that at least gave me a "feeling old" moment earlier:
Not that today is the anniversary...but that it was 22 years ago. That's right; kids born after that happened are now old enough to drink in public.
Now the part that at least gave me a "feeling old" moment earlier:
Not that today is the anniversary...but that it was 22 years ago. That's right; kids born after that happened are now old enough to drink in public.
22 January 2008
Fire for Effect
So some of you probably wonder where i've been, since i obviously haven't been blogging. For whatever silly reason, I cannot log in here from my work computer. Which sucks since that means I cannot bore you to death with my ramblings whilst on your (the taxpayer's) dime. So I must do it from home on my dime. Ce la vie. Interestingly, I CAN login at work to leave comments, just not new posts. Go fig.
Anywho, I'll cut right to it: I felt inspired to write something after reading The Cap'ns last post, plus it's been a while too. So a little topicality for your amusement:
Random observation: I can't help but laugh at people who drag themselves out of bed WAY before sunrise, do whatever they need to do at home, then drive to the gym to be there when they open at 0500. They are doing this presumably for better health, lose weight, blah blah. They go into a business, which operates on a premise that goes something like this: the aspiring athelete walked into the door sometime in the past, and told the proprietor that they would give them some of their hard earned money every month in exchange to be able to go inside, and lift up something heavy. Or maybe run in place. Which is fine if that's what they want to do. I do it (except for the paying for it part).
Anyway, this person has now made a sacrifice of some of their time and some money. And what do they do upon arrival? Park AS CLOSE to the front door as possible!!!!!! Heaven forbid we have to walk across the parking lot!! And don't play the weather card; i've seen it plenty in the summer when it's very comfy outside. Noticed that again the other day. Idiots.
So onto more serious topics: I like D's post earlier about the new Disney flick. Fantastic. I'll take his points even further. Yes, there are plenty-o-Americans who will buy into it, or not see the harm in the message, if it'll keep the kids occupied for a couple of hours. You know who else will enjoy this and buy into an implied message? A good chunk of the world populace that aren't Americans. Our "buddies" overseas will get a good laugh outta how well this does and this is the kind of crap we like and believe in. Which will work out well; then they'll just send they're animals to overthrow us. Maybe they'll rent "Idiocracy" too, to paint a complete picture. If you haven't seen this, it is mildly amusing until you realize this is where we are headed (unless you want to argue we might already be there). Not so funny after that.
Oh well; as I believe it was Leddawg who pointed out once upon a time when you look at someone like this...just say to yourself "more jobs for me". I think it would feed nicely into a fantastic essay i read several years ago which asked the question " are we going the way of Rome?". Well researched, well written, well argued, and quite frankly should scare the shit out of anyone with 1/2 a brain that reads it.
Plus, think of the irony in that description of G-Spot or whatever that film is called: it is being produced by a company, started by a man who became a billionaire and who's company has taken over certain nitches in the world (pop culture particularly). It produced legions of children and adults running around with plastic mouse ears on their heads. We even refer to warm, fuzzy movie endings as "Disney endings". And now plenty will pay money to go see a barnyard critter packing heat. Sweet; now they're defining who the "good guys" are too.
Anywho, I'll cut right to it: I felt inspired to write something after reading The Cap'ns last post, plus it's been a while too. So a little topicality for your amusement:
Random observation: I can't help but laugh at people who drag themselves out of bed WAY before sunrise, do whatever they need to do at home, then drive to the gym to be there when they open at 0500. They are doing this presumably for better health, lose weight, blah blah. They go into a business, which operates on a premise that goes something like this: the aspiring athelete walked into the door sometime in the past, and told the proprietor that they would give them some of their hard earned money every month in exchange to be able to go inside, and lift up something heavy. Or maybe run in place. Which is fine if that's what they want to do. I do it (except for the paying for it part).
Anyway, this person has now made a sacrifice of some of their time and some money. And what do they do upon arrival? Park AS CLOSE to the front door as possible!!!!!! Heaven forbid we have to walk across the parking lot!! And don't play the weather card; i've seen it plenty in the summer when it's very comfy outside. Noticed that again the other day. Idiots.
So onto more serious topics: I like D's post earlier about the new Disney flick. Fantastic. I'll take his points even further. Yes, there are plenty-o-Americans who will buy into it, or not see the harm in the message, if it'll keep the kids occupied for a couple of hours. You know who else will enjoy this and buy into an implied message? A good chunk of the world populace that aren't Americans. Our "buddies" overseas will get a good laugh outta how well this does and this is the kind of crap we like and believe in. Which will work out well; then they'll just send they're animals to overthrow us. Maybe they'll rent "Idiocracy" too, to paint a complete picture. If you haven't seen this, it is mildly amusing until you realize this is where we are headed (unless you want to argue we might already be there). Not so funny after that.
Oh well; as I believe it was Leddawg who pointed out once upon a time when you look at someone like this...just say to yourself "more jobs for me". I think it would feed nicely into a fantastic essay i read several years ago which asked the question " are we going the way of Rome?". Well researched, well written, well argued, and quite frankly should scare the shit out of anyone with 1/2 a brain that reads it.
Plus, think of the irony in that description of G-Spot or whatever that film is called: it is being produced by a company, started by a man who became a billionaire and who's company has taken over certain nitches in the world (pop culture particularly). It produced legions of children and adults running around with plastic mouse ears on their heads. We even refer to warm, fuzzy movie endings as "Disney endings". And now plenty will pay money to go see a barnyard critter packing heat. Sweet; now they're defining who the "good guys" are too.
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